by Jeff on April 30, 2009
I understand this blog is about planning a wedding, and no wedding getup is complete without a great pair of shoes … I’m talking about the groom’s shoes, of course.
I’m one of the few guys I know whose shoe collection clearly outdistances that of his better half. I have shoes for every occasion, every mood, every climate. Feeling spiffy. Bam, I pull out my Born camel-colored laceups or my Ecco black leathers. Even spiffier. Wham, my Brooks Brothers wingtips. A little funky. My John Fluevog dress loafers. Fun but still funky? Oh no he didn’t … out come my green and yellow Globe skateboard boats. Sporty? There’s my black Asics joggers, blue Addidas track retros, throwback Reebok BB highs, etc. Throwback? How bout Bass suede bucks, Doc Martin biker boots and, of course, a rainbow of Chuck Ts. I could go on all night (and bore the hell out of you).
Anyways, I was thinking about shoes for our wedding, and because we’re getting married on a beach, and there are a few directions I can go. So far, here are the contenders. Let me know what you think…
There’s the ultra-casual choice, Reef leather sandals…
The funky choice, Converse Chuck Ts…
A bit more dressy and cosmo, the John Fluevog Radio …
Or something a bit more traditional, like the Kenneth Cole Landing Gear loafer …
by Jeff on April 28, 2009
Both Groomasaurus Gal and I are people who can’t sit still and feel like we have to be doing something productive all the time. Although this usually makes for a good employee, it can also lead to a feeling a being overwhelmed (as well as other things like nervous breakdowns, coronary disease, etc. … but I digress), which is where I am today.
I’m in marketing, and the economy has really put the brakes to my business, so on top of usual life stuff (cooking, grocery shopping, yardwork, etc.) and planning a wedding, I now have to go out and spend even more time looking for new clients for my business. I admit that I’m one of those odd birds who actually likes networking and talking to strangers, but the problem is that it requires soooo much time with no guarantee that anything will come of it. A sage person once said that networking is about giving, not getting, but sometimes don’t you feel like you give so much that on occasion the universe should give something back? Okay, I’ll stop bitching and get to my point.
Wait a minute … did I have a point? Oh, yeah, feeling overwhelmed. I know many brides and grooms also feel the same us. You have full-time jobs, maybe even multiple full-and part-time jobs, household tasks on top of those, family obligations, possibly kids to care for and if there’s time left you squeeze in a movie and some sleep. Not much extra time in there for planning a wedding.
The first thing to remember amongst all this is that such overburdening is mostly self-inflicted. Sure, you can’t really do anything about your boss dumping a stack of work on your desk that will keep you awake all weekend – other than quit, that is. But we all have control over how much stuff we let into our lives and how many tasks we take on. I thought about this and figured I have three paths I can take to de-clutter my life: delegate some tasks (which we have by having a destination wedding); cut some tasks out (still working on that); and let some non-essential things slide (as in “don’t sweat the small stuff). In the meantime, I’m going to go walk my dogs, which I have found is a great way to take your mind off of the ruck of everyday life, and repeat this yoga mantra: Oommmmmmmmmmm.
by Jeff on April 24, 2009
Groomasaurs Gal has been grumbly today (I’m trying to be kind) and I’ve been walking around in a haze, mostly because both of us tossed and turned in our sleep last night. So when I asked her a short while ago what I should blog about, she replied in a snarky voice, “Why don’t you talk about how little planning you’ve done lately.” Now, this isn’t completely true, and some of this is the lack of sleep talking, but she is correct in the fact that neither of us has done much planning as of late.
But her comment did make me think of a common, often unspoken misunderstanding among men and women. I’m going to choose my words carefully here to avoid what could be an onslaught of estrogen-laced vitriol, and remember that I’m not a sociologist (I just play one on TV). So here goes…
In past generations, men and women have often played certain sterotypic roles and filled, let’s say, “traditional” duties. This isn’t to say that these apply in all cases or that they are even valid moving forward as our species (hopefully) continues to evolve. You know the stereotypes. Women cook. Men change the oil in the car. Women care for the kids. Men build the kids a treehouse. Etc, etc.
I, for one, am glad many of these sterotypes are beginning to erode. Most of my guy friends take a very active role in raising their kids. Quite a few women I know are the primary breadwinners. A surprising number of guys like to cook (yours truly included) and are the main culinary experts in the household; this might be a harbinger of the decline of fine cuisine as we know it, but I’ve know a few horrible female cooks in my day, too, and they certainly didn’t keep Rachael Ray from doing her thing, so I’d say things are probably status quo here. Anyways, you get the point.
But one task/duty that is still considered the domain of women is planning a wedding. I know for a fact that many women consider wedding planning a labor of love … literally. But many others consider it utter drudgery, akin to root canals or a trip to the DMV. I think Groomasaurus Gal falls somewhere in between, as do probably most women. But us guys, not wanting to intrude or interfere in what we percieve is something that you want and like to do, are left limbo. We don’t want to take control over something you want and enjoy doing, but we also don’t want to sit on the sidelines (or, more likely, on the couch) while you steam around the house in anger that we aren’t pulling our fair share. In fact, many of us aren’t even sure how to bring up the topic because we don’t want to step on any toes.
So, if you feel this tension arising, or if you are really miffed or disappointed because we’re watching the World’s Strongest Man Marathon on ESPN while you’re picking out floral arrangements, take the high road and just tell us how we can contribute and how you want us involved. Unless your guy is a complete dolt, in which case you may want to reconsider marriage, he will do whatever it takes to make you happy. Because in the end we want you to be happy and love your life with us.
by Jeff on April 22, 2009
So I was thinking today of our planet today and all the damage we’ve inflicted upon it since the onset of the Industrial Revolution, but that became a bit overwhelming and, anyways, most of that wasn’t my fault anyway, so I tried to narrow it down and think about the damage I have personally inflicted on it.
Saving our planet ... one wedding at a time
In my younger years I did probably create my own personal ozone hole with all the gasoline I bought for my 72 Chevy Impala and all the styrofoam Big Mac boxes I nonchalantly tossed into the trash (which I’m sure are still sitting intact in a landfill somewhere in northern Ohio). But in the last 10 years I have made a much more concerted effort to be kind to our globe, and Groomasaurus Gal and I do whatever we can to recycle, reduce our fuel consumption (she has a Prius, me a Mini Cooper), turn out lights when leaving a room, rub our brittle hands together during the winter in our frigid house (Groomasaurus Gal keeps the thermostat pretty darn low), etc.
Which brings me to our wedding … today I feel a bit guilty because we’re having a destination wedding in Mexico, and all those people flying from Denver, St. Louis and various points west aren’t exactly making life any easier for Sammy the Engangered Snail or Ollie the Asthmatic Osprey. Airline travel is a big, big polluter, and there’s no rationalizing around this. So what to do…
To try and balance things out, we decided that we would try to cut back on some items. For instance, no printed paper invitations (we will e-mail all save-the-dates and invites). Buy “previously loved” wedding attire or use something we already own (which should give us ample selection). Stuff like that. In addition, we are leaning toward buying carbon offset credits from a site like CarbonFund or TerraPass so our CO2 emissions can be offset with green activities elsewhere.
Earth Day is great because it increases awareness of how we care for our environment, but it’s action that will make a difference. Hopefully we can do our small part to offset our wedding emissions (probably the first time those two words have been used together, and for good reason … it sounds like a farty wedding party).
by Jeff on April 21, 2009
Ah, a topic of interest (and possibly trepidation) for many brides … and grooms, too. I know Groomasaurus Gal has a dress she bought 20 years ago that she wants to fit into by our wedding day in November. And although I don’t have a certain outfit I need to squeeze into, like most guys, I have an unspoken vanity about my body and weight. More on that in a second…
We’re getting married in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, in November, and we both are trying to get in better shape for the wedding and just for general health reasons. A few years ago, we both decided that we were getting a bit too lumpy (we both work 10-hour days and are almost obsessively busy) and decided we needed to make a lifestyle change or we were going to end up like some of the contestants on The Biggest Loser (which, incidentally, we both are addicted to … I think it’s one of the most inspiring shows on TV). So we signed on with a personal trainer friend of mine.
Within a few months, we both were in the best shape of our lives, but not without some sacrifice and fatigue. What did we learn? If I was doing it all over again, here’s what I would do:
- Hire a trainer to set up a program for you and then have them work you out for 1 month – After 1 month, you pretty much know the routine and can do it yourself once you start to see results (a motivating factor).
- Don’t starve yourself while working out – There’s lots of places online where you can find healthy meal plans. Just make sure you get enough to eat, because your body won’t burn off as many calories if it’s in starvation/conservation mode. And take it from us … not eating enough while you are working out strenuously makes you very, very grumpy (also bad for a relationship). We found smaller mealtime meals and lots of protein-heavy snacks helped keep us happier.
- Mix it up – We found that doing the same exercises every time you work out makes the gym seem like a task. So mix up your exercises … take an aerobic or boot camp class, ride your bike, take a jog, swim, play basketball, whatever.
- Incorporate lifting into your routine – I know I’m a guy, and guys are supposed to like lifting weights, but I’ve always hated it (and I never had an aspiration to be one of those muscle-bound steakheads you see at the gym lifting like 500 lbs over their heads). But I started lifting lower weights at higher reps, and it makes lifting more of an aerobic activity. And lifting weights is proven to help drop fat and increase muscle mass.
- Do it together – I think this was the main reason why we have stuck with our program. We started exercising together, learned all the routines from our trainer, ate the same healthy kinds of food, and generally were there to kick each other’s butt when somebody said “Screw this. I’m sore, so I’m going to skip today.”
We still follow our routine, but the last few months we’ve been a bit too lax (seems that the winter does that to everybody), so we’re now trying to hit the gym more often to tone things up a bit. But back to the vanity thing … Most guys woudn’t tell you this, but they have a secret desire to rip their shirt off at the beach and display a rippling 6-pack of an abdomen. This isn’t saying that we’re shallow, but most of us do care about how we look. And when we hit the beaches at Puerto Vallarta, I don’t want my belly to flop over my swimsuit like a layer of whale blubber. Anyways, more to come later …
by Jeff on April 17, 2009
Some people are born planners who can sit in a room for hours and assemble all the smallest details without as much as looking out the window. God love ‘em, but I’m not one of those people.
Maybe most guys are like this, but after about an hour I start fidgeting and looking around for anything else to do besides what I’ve been doing. This is why remote controls and the Internet are like magnets for most guys … when we get bored, we just start flitting around for the next shiny bauble that can hold our attention for longer than 30 seconds. There must be some evolutionary reason for this because almost every guy friend I have is like this.
So if your main squeeze is like me and has the attention span of an ADD squirrel, then I would suggest you plan with him in small bursts. Groomasaurus Gal and I have been setting aside an hour or two every week to take care of our wedding planning tasks, and it’s worked out really well. She feels like we making steady progress (she’s very task-minded), while I feel like I am doing my part and able to devote my full attention.
by Jeff on April 15, 2009
It’s funny, because when I’ve asked my married friends where we should start planning a wedding, I get all sorts of answers. Many say “budget,” which makes perfect sense, as we all know these things cost money. Other say “guest list,” which obviously affects the budget. Others say “start with what is important to you,” but in our case that would be a horrible place to start in that we’d probably start thinking about music, clothes and food and get distracted and spend all our wedding money on CDs and shoes and great restaurants instead and end up never getting married (how’s that for a run-on sentence).
But the one thing people didn’t say was that it’s important to set a schedule upfront for how you will plan your wedding. This past weekend we sat down to schedule out all the critical things that need to get done by our November wedding, and it really got us talking about what is important to each of us.
For example, when we thought about a deadline for asking people to be in the wedding party, it made us think if we actually wanted one. Both Groomasaurus Gal and I are in our 40s, and we have so many fabulous friends that it seemed a crime to choose only a few to be up there with us. We’re still considering the options, but it gave us pause to think about our priorities and how traditional a wedding ceremony we wanted.
In addition, scheduling everything out also made us think about how we were going to pay for everything over the next 8 months. When you start seeing deadlines for picking music and flowers and the like, you also begin considering how much money to save and if you can pay things off earlier so you don’t get hit with 28 big fat bills all at the same time (and since it’s tax day today, hopefully you all aren’t getting hit with big bills of your own).
Anyways, that’s all something to consider…
It seems in my rush to tell the story that I got a few facts wrong (like Mark Twain says, why let the facts get in the way of a good story), so I’ll let Groomasaurus Gal set me straight:
First, I was not looking for a Paul Oakenfold CD. It was Sasha & Digweed’s “Communications” which a high-school friend of mine (hello Wayne) had recommended. Second, the CD he recommended I buy (which I did) was John Kelly’s “Dessert Landscapes 1″ which I didn’t like very much. Thankfully I was able to overlook that. There’s more, but it would take all night so I’m limiting myself to the 2 crucial ones.
Thanks Groomasaurus Gal for those needed corrections … I’m sure there will be more to come in the upcoming months.
by Jeff on April 13, 2009
The perfect place to start a wedding blog is at the beginning … so here goes.
Groomasaurus Gal and I met in a record store. Yep, you read that right. A record store. You see, we’re both music aficionados. Well, that’s putting it lightly. We’re unapologetic and incurable music junkies. To date, between the two of us we own a few walls worth of CDs and untold vinyl and cassette albums (the big step in moving our relationship forward was combining our music collections, but that’s another blog entry).
With that preface out of the way, here’s the story. It was a balmy afternoon in late June and I was bored and decided to browse in one of my favorite record stores in Denver. The place is called Jerry’s Record Exchange, and it’s owned by a cranky, crusty, loveable guy named John who is the consummate record snob. I’ve actually witnessed him literally laugh in the face of someone who once asked if he had any Shania Twain (all apologies to her fans) and tell them to go to Tower (back when Tower was still around).
I was over in the dance/electronica section (I have a soft spot for house music) browsing for god know what when I noticed the alluring woman next to me browsing through some really mediocre Paul Oakenfold dance mixes. She eventually settled on one, at which point I told her that she didn’t want that one. She looked at me a bit circumspectly (like “Who is this freak?”), and I told her that there were much better discs by the prince of DJs.
Of course, when a stranger tells you your choice of music is a bit off, most of us would flash the “talk to the hand” sign and make for the door. Kudos to her for sticking around and debating the ebbs and flows of Paul Oakenfold’s career as well as other and varied topics (Groomasaurus Gal is an attorney, meaning she is very good at debating). So after chatting about music for a half-hour or so, we were both finished browsing and we ready to purchase our CDs. This is where I turned into a typical, clueless male idiot.
Instead of asking for her phone number or if she wanted to meet up for a drink sometime, for some unspeakable reason I started talking baseball with the owner of the store (I know he’s a lifelong Cubs fan, and I’m an Indians fan, so we have years of futility to draw from). Although I do enjoy a day at the ballpark, there’s only one thing more dreadfully boring than watching a baseball, and that’s two guys talking about baseball. I’m sure cancer could have been cured by now or the economy righted if guys would only focus on the task at hand and stop talking about sports, but I digress.
Needless to say, when I finally pull my head out of my a**, I discover that the wonderful woman with whom I was talking was gone. This was the point where I walked outside and ran my head into a parking meter about a dozen times because I’m so stupid. Anyways, I was heading out of town that weekend to hang out with a bunch of friends for 4th of July in Chicago, and I decided I’d call up the owner of the record store when I got back to ask for that woman’s phone number.
She beat me to it, god bless her. When I got back to town, I discovered a voicemail from Groomasaurus Gal asking me if I would like to join her for a drink or “beverage of some sort.” Seems that she called the owner of the record store before I could. This will remain the only time in my life I was actually stalked, and I’m so proud of it. Of course I couldn’t dial the phone fast enough, and we had our first date a few days later, oddly at a restaurant that neither of us likes that much. (Years later I discovered that women consider this place good for a first date because the bar is right next to the front door and within feet of a transit shuttle in case they need to make a quick getaway. Good thinking.)
But the kicker was our second date. Paul Oakenfold was actually performing at Red Rocks, and it had been sold out for weeks, so I figured I’d go up with her and her friend and get a scalped ticket. Problem was that nobody was selling. I told her to go in, as it was no use for her and her friend to miss the show, and I’d hang out in the parking lot and stare at the stars or something equally ridiculous. Unfazed, she hatched up a plan in which she sweet-talked a security guard into letting me in and slipped me her friend’s ticket stub, saying it had fallen off in the parking lot. The guy actually bought it!! If I had tried this, he and his bouncer henchmen would have stuffed me in a trash barrel and spent the rest of the night pinging beer cans off my head. At this moment, I realized three things about this woman: 1) She is way smarter than me. 2) She will stop at nothing to make other people happy. 3) She is what I’ve always been looking for. The rest is history (which we will save for another day).
