Tell us when you want help

Groomasaurs Gal has been grumbly today (I’m trying to be kind) and I’ve been walking around in a haze, mostly because both of us tossed and turned in our sleep last night. So when I asked her a short while ago what I should blog about, she replied in a snarky voice, “Why don’t you talk about how little planning you’ve done lately.” Now, this isn’t completely true, and some of this is the lack of sleep talking, but she is correct in the fact that neither of us has done much planning as of late.

But her comment did make me think of a common, often unspoken misunderstanding among men and women. I’m going to choose my words carefully here to avoid what could be an onslaught of estrogen-laced vitriol, and remember that I’m not a sociologist (I just play one on TV). So here goes…

In past generations, men and women have often played certain sterotypic roles and filled, let’s say, “traditional” duties. This isn’t to say that these apply in all cases or that they are even valid moving forward as our species (hopefully) continues to evolve. You know the stereotypes. Women cook. Men change the oil in the car. Women care for the kids. Men build the kids a treehouse. Etc, etc.

I, for one, am glad many of these sterotypes are beginning to erode. Most of my guy friends take a very active role in raising their kids. Quite a few women I know are the primary breadwinners. A surprising number of guys like to cook (yours truly included) and are the main culinary experts in the household; this might be a harbinger of the decline of fine cuisine as we know it, but I’ve know a few horrible female cooks in my day, too, and they certainly didn’t keep Rachael Ray from doing her thing, so I’d say things are probably status quo here. Anyways, you get the point.

But one task/duty that is still considered the domain of women is planning a wedding. I know for a fact that many women consider wedding planning a labor of love … literally. But many others consider it utter drudgery, akin to root canals or a trip to the DMV. I think Groomasaurus Gal falls somewhere in between, as do probably most women. But us guys, not wanting to intrude or interfere in what we percieve is something that you want and like to do, are left limbo. We don’t want to take control over something you want and enjoy doing, but we also don’t want to sit on the sidelines (or, more likely, on the couch) while you steam around the house in anger that we aren’t pulling our fair share. In fact, many of us aren’t even sure how to bring up the topic because we don’t want to step on any toes.

So, if you feel this tension arising, or if you are really miffed or disappointed because we’re watching the World’s Strongest Man Marathon on ESPN while you’re picking out floral arrangements, take the high road and just tell us how we can contribute and how you want us involved. Unless your guy is a complete dolt, in which case you may want to reconsider marriage, he will do whatever it takes to make you happy. Because in the end we want you to be happy and love your life with us.