This may seem obvious, but bear with me, because there are a few nuances here that brides may not fully realize.
First, everyone on both sides of the aisle understands the value of good kitchenware. We all need toasters to toast our bread, griddles to grid our french toast and poachers to sit at the back of our cabinets and gather dust. You will get no arguement – correction, no good arguement – from guys as to the importance of a fully functional plate, fork, blender, baster or grater. Pardon the pun, but we know which side of our bread is buttered, and it would be foolish to pooh-pooh any utensil or appliance that results in a pleased palate and a full stomach.
(Side note: Knives are always a welcome gift, as they are one of the true gender neutral appliances. I know my college roommate Derek always gave them as wedding gifts, mostly so he could say afterward, “Just don’t use them on each other.” This goes without saying, but Derek is one of the few people I know who possesses a cornier sense of humor than my own.)
You will also get little guff from us regarding the utility of most other general household wares. We may never touch an iron, let alone know how to operate one, but some of the greatest men and women who have walked the planet have receieved irons as wedding gifts, and who are we to break such a revered and longstanding tradition. Accordingly, we acknowledge that towels, sheets, rugs, doormats, clocks and such all have a welcome place in our homes.
But then there’s what I like to call the “elective” category. In college, the elective courses were the ones we took to fill in the gaps around our required curriculum and our major. You know, courses like art appreciation (for those who couldn’t hack art history), science for humanities majors (aka science for dummies), environmental geology (aka rocks for jocks). Well, you can probably guess what items qualify as “elective” wedding gifts. Napkin holders. Dried flower bouquets. Crystal centerpieces. Porcelain duck lawn ornaments. On the surface, these may seem like perfectly pleasant gifts to brides. But it’s these gifts that drive us guys nuts because THEY HAVE NO OBVIOUS PURPOSE OTHER THAN TO EVENTUALLY BREAK AND END UP IN A LANDFILL (the napkin holders may seem like an exception, but because of their rare use they still qualify for his category). I know this sounds mean, and it’s not intended to be, but after we help you unwrap the fourth collectible, engraved silver tray that can never, ever be used as a tray, we are wishing to god for a leafblower.
So, please, throw us a bone and put some guy stuff on your wedding registry. It doesn’t even have to be a big ticket item – although a nice mitre saw or a Dewalt power drill set would certainly put us in the right mood. Just a little sumpthin-sumpthin that we can get as excited about as you would a Kitchen Aid food processer. Just remember, any tool or implement will end up benefiting you anyway, because the leaf blower isn’t going to start itself.
Comments on this entry are closed.