We’re a busy culture, always working, always building, always growing, always thinking, always moving. All this activity means that, on occasion, certain things don’t get done because other things get in the way. In fact, sometimes it seems we have so much going on that life becomes a series of tangents in which we start down hundreds of paths but don’t ever arrive at a destination.
This perfectly encapsulates my last few weeks. Lots of projects, many deadlines, not much to show for it. The thing that always frustrates me about these patches of craziness is that the entire time I’m scrambling, I am thinking about all the important things these seeming trivialities are keeping me from. For instance, I really enjoy writing this blog, but I haven’t been able to devote much time to it lately. Ditto for planning our wedding … I had scheduled some time to work on our guest lists and invitations the last few weekends, but somehow the minutiae of life has kept me from getting to them.
Meanwhile, the entire time I was putting off my wedding planning, this little evil voice in the back of my head kept saying, “You need to get on this stuff. If you don’t get these things planned, you won’t have the wedding you and your fiancee want. You’ll run out of time, people won’t come because you informed them too late and it will all turn to shit.” (Yes, my little voice does swear at me; it is evil, you know.) Then the guilt sets in, and before you know it I’m in the midst of a big shame fest.
So now that I have some space to breathe, I wonder why we put such pressure on ourselves to take on so many tasks and put such pressure on ourselves to make everything perfect. Maybe life would be better if some things were less than perfect. Maybe our wedding would be a better experience if we didn’t kill ourselves beforehand to make it perfect and instead let some things slide and relaxed and enjoyed the journey leading up to it. I’m not saying put it all off until you’re forced to elope in Vegas (which is sounding better by the day), but maybe the invites don’t have to be perfect, the flowers don’t have to be so elaborate, the favors can be skipped, the vows can be written like a last-minute term paper when the pressure brings out nuggets of clarity and insights. Just the thought of this takes the pressure off … I think I’ll try this relaxed approach for a while and maybe find some peace in the planning process.
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