Admitting idiocy is a step in the right direction

All this wedding planning we’ve been doing lately coupled with me trying to run two businesses (My Wedding Workbook wedding website and my Denver-based branding agency Kear Stevens) and late-night blogging (currently writing this at midnight) has led to lots of late nights and short-attention span moments.

For example, this evening I was working on the website when my fiancee came downstairs, sat next to me on the couch and tried to start a conversation about us going to Texas over Thanksgiving to visit her aunt and uncle (very kind, salt-of-the-earth people). As she spoke to me, she tried to look over my shoulder to see what I was doing, which I oddly find very distracting. Instead of stopping what I was doing and talking with her about something that I could tell was important to her, I just said I was trying to get something done. So she sat there for a minute and then tried to peek over my shoulder again, I think in an attempt to be playful, at which point I sort of snapped at her.

Now, just because she knows I can’t stand someone looking over my shoulder (weird paranoid reflex of mine) doesn’t give me the right to snap at her. And me being tired and overworked isn’t a good excuse to snap at her, either. It took 15 minutes for the guilt to build up until I went upstairs to the bedroom where she had retreated and apologized. She was sweet and said she understood, and all was well again.

And why do I tell this rather pedestrian story. For this reason … in our married lives, we are all going to be idiots sometime. For even the nicest person on the planet, being an occasional idiot is unavoidable. It is guaranteed that at some point in the future (probably at many points) we will be grumpy, hurried, sullen, distracted, etc. and not be as respectful of our partner as we should, whether it’s ignoring them, snapping/yelling at them or engage in other assorted barking and stupidity.

However, what’s important is realizing when we’ve just been stupid and asking our spouse for forgiveness. Sure, it’s better if you try to avoid being an ass in the first place, but, speaking for us guys, we’re pretty much guaranteed to be an ass at least once a week. So it’s a good idea to get started now reflecting on our behavior and making amends when that behavior is ill advised.

So, I’m sorry sweetie for being an idiot. Unfortunately there’s a bit more where that came from, but I’ll try to keep it to a minimum.

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On another note, our bridal blogger friends over at Bridelines have been named a finalist for Wedding Channel’s Best Wedding Planning Blog award. But they need votes to win, so check out their site and then click here to vote for them. Their blog takes a funny, insightful look at weddings, and it’s totally worth keeping up with.