Question tradition before you plan

As we finished up our e-invitations tonight (more on that tomorrow), I thought about why people throw rice instead of marshmellows (the latter have a much higher yum factor), why brides wear white gowns and not blue jumpsuits and why a wedding cake instead of a wedding pie or wedding pudding (you can tell I’m from the Midwest, can’t you)? I mean, these all seem perfectly normal now, but at one time somebody had to come up with it, and before that nobody would have deigned to throw rice at the bride and groom. In fact, it still seems pretty silly.

I just learned somewhere on the Web (if I don’t bookmark stuff I never remember where I saw it) that the tradition of the bride wearing a white gown started with Queen Victoria. That tradition at least makes sense. The Queen Mother decided she’d wear white, and at the time all self-respecting Brit females thought the world of the Queen, so they all followed in suit. 100 years later, brides who are more familiar with Queen the rock group than Queen Victoria are wearing white with no idea why or where it all started. But they followed suit nonetheless.

Now, for arguement’s sake, say Oprah got married (assumming she isn’t already … seems to be a matter of conjecture at times) and she wore some sort of Vegas showgirl outfit with feather headdress, sequins and the whole works (I know this would never happen, but bear with me). Many people would certainly be shocked; however, one of the first notable people to wear white at their wedding was Mary Queen of Scots (she wed Francois II of France), and white was considered to be a rather outre choice since it was the color (our should I say colour) of mourning in France. But as Oprah’s wedding pictures got around and Oprah’s supporters began a crusade to defend her rather outrageous choice of wedding attire (which they invariably would … hell, the read every book she recommends, no matter how ponderous some might be), suddenly you would begin to see feathers, sequins and maybe even a pastie or two creep into wedding attire. You laugh, you smirk, but people invariably follow the crowd (I’m in marketing, so I know these things), and it would certainly happen.

Oprah's future wedding attire? Could be... - Photo courtesy of Excalibur Entertainments Web site

But would that really be an improvement, or would it simply start another ridiculous trend of what one “should” wear on their wedding day? I’m a bit of an iconoclast, and I certainly think tradition has its place, but when it comes to what you should wear or how you should state your vows or what you should have for dessert, I say screw what you’re “supposed” to do and go with what makes you happy and what you like. Queen Victoria actually wore a white dress to incorporate some white lace she already owned (it’s true … just look it up on Wikipedia). So if you have a fashionable blue hat you’ve always adored or prefer rhubarb pie over white cake, I say wear blue and bring out the pie plates.