(Note: Today’s guest blogger is Jean over at JustCuffLinks.com, and Jean wants to tell you a bit about the value of cufflinks. I myself have a whole bunch of great antique cufflinks that I inherited from my grandfather, and french cuffs with cufflinks is a classy touch on any outfit. )
We all know, and probably have received, all the usual groomsmen gifts: personalized mugs and shot glasses, the keychain that we’ll never use, or even the money clip for all those non-existant bills in my pocket. Sure, you appreciate that you’re getting a gift and who doesn’t love receiving one, but wouldn’t it be nice if you could for once get a guy-gift you’ll actually use?
That’s where Cufflinks come in. We know not every guy wears a shirt with French cuffs to accommodate a pair of cufflinks, but if the guys in your wedding party do, please put down that personalized tape measure and order them one of one of these awesome pairs of cufflinks. JustCuffLinks.com have literally 100,000 pairs of new and Vintage Cufflinks on their site. A great groomsmen gift idea would be to take a look at the site and choose a different set of cufflinks for each guy’s personality in your wedding party.
See? Wasn’t too hard to just say no to boring groomsmen gifts, and go with one they can actually use (and like!).
(Thanks, Jean, for giving us pause to consider a classic gift.)
Groomasaurus, our wedding coordinator Nicole, and Groomasaurus Gal
Think of the last party you planned, be it a halloween party, holiday party, birthday party or some other special event. Of course, there was probably a bunch of stuff involved leading up the party. Inviting people. Cooking. Preparing the drinks and booze. Cleaning. Clearing a space in your house where people can actually sit and relax (sometimes a challenge in our house, as we have too much stuff). And on and on.
Now, think of everything you have to do as host of the party. You are answering the door constantly. Hanging up coats. Pulling things in and out of the oven and fridge. Tending bar. Taking out the trash. Trying to keep your dogs from humping or body-slamming everyone that walks through the door. Making sure your brother doesn’t break anything when he gets completely housed. Etc. Etc. All this time, you are trying to sneak in conversations and engage with your guests, but every conversation is cut short by a keg that’s kicked, a spilled drink, a running toilet, a new arrival, etc., etc.
Now picture this x100 with lots more people and loads more money involved, and you have your wedding.
On your wedding day, you have two goals: 1) to actually (and legally) get married, 2) to enjoy your guests. In order to accomplish those two things, you need to be able to focus solely on them, which I guarantee you won’t accomplish if you also are coordinating everything on your wedding day.
Believe me, even if you were the world’s leading Type A, got-your-shit-completely-together multitasker (which is pretty much the definition of my wife), you will never, ever be able to pull off being a great host/hostess and a great coordinator. You might be a great host, but then you’ll probably be an average coordinator, or vice versa. And, believe me, no bride wants “average” associated with anything related to their wedding day.
We had a day-of-coordinator (who actually worked for our destination wedding venue, Vallarta Adventures, through which we had an all-inclusive wedding), and she was fantastic. When my wife needed to be walking down the aisle, BAM, Nicole was on it. When people needed to be rounded up for photos, she was a veritable turnstile. When everyone needed to be seated, she was pulling out chairs for people. When the cake needed to be cut, she was handing us a knife. And not once did we have to consult the kitchen, chat with the bar staff (except to pour me another shot of tequila, and there were many) or consult the DJ, because she was all over it. That way, we could focus on each other and our guests and have the time of our life.
Even if you are the most penny-pinching miser, hiring a day-of-coordinator is a no-brainer and a bottom-line value, mostly because you are actually making the most of a big investment (your wedding) by having them there helping. If money is time, then if you are spending time coordinating your wedding day, you are losing loads of money by not being able to enjoy yourself and your guests. So for just a small investment, you ensure that you will make the most of your big day.
So, thanks a million Nicole for making our wedding day so memorable, and the rest of you, find a Nicole-like clone so you can enjoy your wedding, too.
I just got an email from Jacqueline over at Cosabella, that distinguished maker of fine Italian lingerie (and whose models certainly give Victoria’s Secret models a run for their money … not that I pay attention to such things), and they have a new online registry for brides to choose lingerie for their wedding night and honeymoon. You can get to it by clicking here: http://shop.cosabella.com/shopcosabella_bridal_reg.html
I don’t know about you, but I would certainly encourage my bride to register anywhere that involves lacy, frilly underthings … and again, not that I endorse or condone that type of behavior
One of the many very fine offerings from Cosabella
Every December, Pantone unveils color trends for the coming year, and this year it chose turquoise as the color of 2010, with other colors such as tomato puree, violet, fusion coral, pink champagne, dried herb and eucalyptus ranking high on their list. And this got me thinking … who really follows these trends?
I ask this question because we recently conducted a survey of brides at My Wedding Workbook (a Web site that I own that provides online wedding software for brides) on things such as their preferred styles and colors, and brides’ preferences really don’t align much with the experts chosen colors. First of all, there was no real runaway winner. Navy was the winner with 13.2% of brides reporting that this was their main color, with black next 9.7%, dark red/burgundy 8.3%, brown/chocolate 7.9%, green/hunter 7.9%, purple/plum 6.9% and light blue/aqua 6.6%. But what it seemed like was that brides really went with either their favorite color and/or a more conservative, familiar color. Which tells me one thing … people choose the colors that they’re comfortable with.
This really isn’t anything new, but it does hint at a dirty little secret in the wedding industry. You see, the wedding industry is huge, with annual U.S. revenue estimates varying from as low as $40B to as high as $100B yearly. For an industry to sell this much stuff, it needs to constantly reinvent itself and to create new variations, varieties and permutations of products and services. Fashion can be a fickle thing, as what was cool and alluring last year is tired and stale this year, and wedding fashions and decor are no different. But the wedding industry in particular seems very adept at creating such variations of products in so many different colors and styles that not only are the choices baffling, but they are also always getting more and more elaborate and expensive.
I’m not blaming anyone here, because in our competitive marketplace, companies are always innovating, refining, specializing and customizing. But what this does do is cause untold amount of confusion and “decision paralysis” among engaged couples who are faced with a mountain of choices and an onslaught of expert advice.
So what do people usually end up doing? Sticking with what they know and like. So, as one who just got married, my advice to you is to take all that expert advice on colors, styles and everything else with a very large grain of salt and, as a rule of thumb, create the wedding that expresses who you are (and not some pundit or expert). If you can’t stand turquoise (which, although there certainly a place for it, was never at the top of my personal list), don’t feel obliged to use it. It’s your clam bake … pick the colors you want.
When you think of weddings, the groom isn’t the first person you would associate with wedding planning … but sites like TheManRegistry.com are helping grooms get in the planning mode. I recently came into contact with the guys over at TheManRegistry.com, and they’ve created a pretty cool one-stop shop for everything a guy could possibly need while getting ready to take the plunge. While the main attraction of the site is a wedding registry for grooms, The Man registry also offers content, local wedding guides for men and groomsmen gifts. They’ve also got a pretty funny promo video, so check it out.
One of the coolest things about The Man Registry is that all of their products make great gift ideas – even if you aren’t buying for a groom, or if you’re a groom looking for cool stuff for your groomsmen. Chris Easter, one of the co-founders of TMR pointed out these three products as huge sellers during the Christmas holiday season:
RC Cooler – A real, working remote control beer cooler. This baby holds a 12 pack plus ice making trips to the kitchen or garage for beer a thing of the past.
NCAA Grill Toppers – Grill your favorite NCAA team’s logo right into the burger, steak or chicken that you’re grilling. Over 30 popular teams are available.
Countertop Slider Grill – Create perfect mini-burgers in your own home with this genius counter-top slider grill.
This might sound like a no-brainer, but I’ve heard so many stories about how couples have bent to the desires of parents, siblings and friends or simply just followed tradition blindly that this needs to be said. Now, there’s certainly a place for tradition, but it should fit your personality as a couple. For instance, there was no way we were skipping stuffing cake in each other’s faces, because we’re a playful couple who likes to be silly, and when are you going to get an opportunity to shove cake up your new spouse’s nose without getting smacked up side the head with a cheese grater or some other jagged kitchen implement. Yeah, that’s what I thought…
And I’m not saying that you should turn a deaf ear to your loved ones (as parents often foot some of the bills for these shin-digs, and therefore they deserve to be heard). But they should know that you simply want their feedback and impressions, not necessarily their input (two very different things) when planning your wedding.
Many engaged couples actually fear putting their whole personality into their weddings in fear that their guests might not cotton to a Kenny Loggins cover band (although they may actually be right about that one) or a 70s attire dress code. But what’s interesting is that, if your guests really know you and love you, then they will go with the flow and revel in your enjoyment of the evening.
Here are a few good examples from our wedding … I made DJ mixes of lots of house music for dancing and of chill-out/lounge music for dining/cocktails (using this really cool professional DJ software called Traktor Pro) prior to our wedding and loaded them onto my iPod. Now, my parents and some of our guests are definitely not into this kind of music, but they all said afterward how fun and cool it was to dance and listen to music that was relatively unfamiliar to them. Another good example is that we both love tres leches cake (Mexican style of white cake that is drenched with three kinds of milk/cream … ungodly, sinfully, I-need-to-run-12-miles-tomorrow-to-work-it-off good), and we decided that we wanted a tres leches wedding cake. Most of our guests had never tasted such a cake, let alone a tres leches wedding cake, but they all raved about it afterward and asked for recipes.
So if you’re uncertain if adding a certain element to your wedding might bore, annoy or otherwise chafe your guests, unless it’s something completely offensive or downright creepy, you should do what you want, and they will likely follow you happily down the aisle and into a swimming pool filled with jello (or whatever else tickles your fancy).
With our wedding, we put certain friends in charge of certain tasks, and it worked out perfectly. We didn’t have a professional photographer, so we had my wife’s cousin Amber coordinate everyone’s cameras so that the wedding and reception were fully covered pictorially (and it was, about 10 times over, with fantastic shots). Our friend John helped man the iPod so the tunes kept flowing (we created playlists and mixes ahead of time so that all he had to do was push buttons). We put our friend Wendy’s two young sons Jake and Luke in charge of handing out programs and corralling everyone onto the dance floor. And so on.
The key to making this delegation of authority tactic succeed is by following these three main rules.
1) Put friends you trust in charge of things they enjoy managing. If your buddy Tim is a huge prankster, then it wouldn’t be a great idea to let him control the iPod (as he might start playing Disco Duck or some other idiotic novelty songs). Or if your friend Jenny really likes to talk and socialize, she might not be able to focus on keeping people moving through the buffet line.
2) Don’t put your family members in charge (unless they are a distant cousin or someone not participating in the wedding). Your wedding party as well as your parents and other close relatives will have plenty to do (entertaining their own friends, hanging out, posing for pictures, etc.), so giving them another responsibility may be a bit too much of a load.
3) Don’t give one person too many duties. Even though your friend Mary may be the most organized person you know and want to take on everything, don’t load her down too much, because you still want these people to enjoy the wedding and not be worried or on alert the entire time. Be prudent in how much responsibility you delegate to each person.
After a long, long hiatus, I’m back. In the interim, I launched another wedding planning Web site (this one a wedding planning software site for wedding consultants), did tons of marketing projects for clients, drove to Dallas and back for Thanksgiving and, oh yeah, GOT MARRIED.
So I figured before I start throwing lots of pictures up on the site from our big day and telling the whole story, I’d start off with a series of lessons learned from our wedding so that all you grooms and brides in-planning can benefit from our slip-ups.
And lesson #1 is … plan out the entire week prior to your wedding.
We got married in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico at the wonderful Las Caletas resort area (which is operated by Vallarta Adventures … great people and a fantastic place to get married, but more on that in another post). And although our entire day went off wonderfully, the entire week could have gone a tad bit better and with a little less stress, IMHO.
See, we arrived in Mexico on Sunday, but our wedding wasn’t until the following Saturday, so we had the whole week to play and relax … until we realized that we had a packed schedule trying to hang out with our family and friends. Moreover, because we didn’t want anyone to feel slighted and wanted to include everyone, we ended up being the Julie McCoy (for any of you who still remember the Love Boat) for the entire group.
I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because I love my family and friends, and I really did want to hang out with as many of them as I could. The issue was that we bent over backwards so far to accommodate everyone else that we weren’t really able to relax as much as we wanted until our wedding day. This was totally our fault, and I think maybe if we had planned more “quiet time” for ourselves during the week we would have been able to relax a bit more.
I believe the rule of “planning out your entire week” applies whether you’re having a destination wedding or a wedding in your hometown or even in your backyard, because in either scenario your time is in demand by family, friends, out-of-town guests, your photographer, your officiant … lots and lots of people. And this isn’t a bad thing, but it can make you pretty stressed out if you feel like things aren’t in your control, and the best way to put them in your control is to have a plan.
With that said, we still had a really wonderful time and were able to enjoy ourselves thoroughly … however, we had to take like a 4-day nap when we got back. Lesson #2 to come this weekend.
Hi. My name is Jeff, and Groomasaurus Gal and I have decided to share the experience of planning a wedding together. We figured if we can do this without driving each other nuts, than our relationship can survive pretty much anything. And since I'm the talker in the relationship, I decided to document our wacky, unconventional journey toward the figurative altar.
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I'd love to hear any stories, ideas or tips you may have related to planning a wedding (this includes any superstar wedding vendors or must-have products that are too cool for school). Just e-mail me at groomasaurus {at} gmail {dot} com
