Look, we all have at least one odd, socially-acceptable-yet-slightly-embarrassing-in-certain-circles obsession. It’s an obsession that you don’t mind mentioning to your friends (and even might boast to them about) but you would rather not have a perfect stranger (especially one whom you are trying to impress) privy to. You know, something like … “Did you know Joe collects brown dress socks; he has like 87 pairs of them?” or “Have you ever seen Laura’s troll doll collection? You know, those little plastic dolls with the crazy shock of green or orange hair? Her house is full of them.”
This stuff is all fodder for fun and laughs among friends, but they aren’t things that you want to come up in a job interview or when you’re meeting the President. A friend with knowledge of these little foibles will just smile knowingly and say, “Well, that’s Laura for you.” But a stranger with this knowledge will smile politely the entire time they are whispering “FREAKSHOW” under their breath and backpedaling to a different corner of the room (despite the fact that the stranger also has at least a few of these little skeletons in his/her closet).
Sorry to say for those women out there who are obsessed with planning your wedding, but being a bridezilla is an obsession that falls into this category. In your circle of friends, being a bridezilla is a “cute” fact about you, something that your friends giggle about and shake their heads in wonder. Some of them may even encourage it, being former/future bridezillas themselves. But when this little detail about you makes its way to a complete stranger, more people than you think will roll their eyes and wonder what other harmlessly deviant tendencies you have.
I think any activity or hobby that becomes the focus of one person’s free time (or even their entire life) becomes open to ridicule from others. I’m not saying this is deserved or right, because we all have little foibles like this. It just is, and it probably arose from some trait inherited from our caveman/woman forebears to keep everyone in the village in line and from doing anything too different that might jeopardize the welfare of the tribe.
I’ve corresponded with many brides and planners over the last year or two, and for the most part, the bridezillas to whom I have talked have been very friendly, engaging people who simply happen to be engrossed in every detail regarding their wedding. And as long as this doesn’t encroach on your relationship with your fiance or how you treat other people, it is harmless and falls under the rubric of “peculiar but ultimately endearing personality trait.”
However, when it gets to the point where a bride is shrieking because the lavender bows on her floral arrangements are one shade off, or she has to drive 500 miles to buy her third $4,000 wedding dress because the other two might not be the “perfect” one, well, this is when we guys take pause and we begin to think “Do I really know this person to whom I am getting married?” Definitely not a question you want your guy to be thinking.
I’m co-owner of a business in which we sell online wedding software to engaged couples and wedding consultants, and I actually had a consultant call me who said that her bride client had screamed at her because our software didn’t work right the first time she logged in (the client was using the wrong password, by the way). Are you kidding me? I felt so bad for the consultant, who seemed to be at wits end trying to please this client who was completely out of line and becoming more irrational every day.
So what I’m saying is, if you’re a bridezilla (and only about 15% of you out there really are), make it an endearing part of yourself and not scary. Because we all eventually flee from scary.
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I would like to thank Amy and her team for their valued advice for any groomasaurus-to-be. And make sure to stop by their
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